What the Funk?

Posted: Tuesday, June 26, 2012 in thoughts

Funk.  I am not replacing one letter for another to avoid using “that” word.  Though, “that” word may be where I am at right now.  Just a blah state of mind and emotion.  Not depressed.  Yet not joyful.  Not greedy.  Yet not content.

I am a melancholy type of individual.  Dictionary.com defines melancholy this way:

1.a gloomy state of mind, especially when habitual or prolonged; depression.

2.sober thoughtfulness; pensiveness.
3.Archaic .
a.the condition of having too much black bile, considered in ancient and medieval medicine to cause gloominess and depression.
b.black bile.
I’m on razors edge about most things.  Not a place I enjoy being….but it is the place where I am.  Melancholy is okay. Where I feel that I am at is somewhat concerning.  Not give me some depression medication concerning.  But this place, this cloud, this funk is hovering and leaching the life from me.  I am letting it to some degree.
Sometimes it snows in April
Sometimes the skies are gray
Sometimes it all looks so familiar to me
Sometimes it’s all so fu*king strange.
I just heard that lyric play from Perfect Blue Buildings by the Counting Crows (i know, not necessarily the best music to listen to when one feels blue).
Life upon life upon life…seems to overwhelm at every turn.  Life is never how you planned it.  But can’t life go along, somewhat, a least a little, with the script?
In life you expect to be at a certain point by a certain time with, more or less, certain things you want to have accomplished.  What do you do when none of those expectations come to fruition?  What happens when the unexpected is worse than the “unexpected joys” you tend to want to have happen when the expected doesn’t come to pass?
Flashes of grace and joy and contentment (even fulfillment)…days of blah, funk, unfilled wishes and dreams.
It’s not the people around me (though the people i work directly with – not my co-workers though – are a big factor right now) but circumstances, expectations, life….that are creating this funky space, this funky place.
This post has been more of a ramble with no clear or intended point of destination.  It has been a peek into my thoughts, my place, my funk.
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Comments
  1. Annonomus says:

    Melancholy blogger- I feel that I have just wondered into someones diary. I, on the one hand want to say I am sorry, but I feel that maybe God has let me view the private thoughts of one that “is wondering in the wilderness”. As one who has also seen the “dark side”, I want to encourage you in the reality of the word and the truth that God loves us and His never ending faith in each of us that goes far beyond anything that we could imagine.
    The following sites have given me an in site to the melancholy world that I will pass along:

    http://ezinearticles.com/?What-is-a-Melancholy-Temperament-and-Why-Does-it-Matter?&id=2023398

    http://www.bible-teaching-about.com/depression.html

    http://www.bible-teaching-about.com/managingthoughts.html

    http://gardenofpraise.com/godseg15.htm

    I hope that some of this may help. Knowing that we are not alone helps me because I know God used men like Jeremiah, David, Paul, and other men of the Bible that had thoughts and doubts and, yes, melancholy. But the “funk” that encompassed them, and you (us), was not where God wanted them or you (us) to be. I have a thought that you know that already. God has not seen fit to not let us get into a “funky melancholy state”. He has given us examples of others who have traveled on the same path before us and showed us how He helped them of this wilderness.

    Well, enough of my “ramblings”. I do hope that anything that I have provided will have helped. Just know that as we run the race for Christ, we encounter difficulties along the way. As we overcome them with God’s help we provide a help and a hope to others on the same path who will need a word of encouragement of the fact that God is greater than anything that is placed in their way to make them stumble.

    God is greater than any problem. Praise His name!!!!!

    • Tom says:

      Thank you so much for “wondering” in. You are always welcome here. Thank you for your kind and generous words they are very much appreciated. Your reminder that God is with us wanting to help us through difficult times was truly an encouragement. Thanks again!

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